I alot of new and a little bit of old...

I have allot of new stuff going on right now.

Firstly,( I never knew firstly was a word until last year when my sons teacher wrote it on her agenda for the month.) I am having new sleeping patterns which tends to have me up at odd hours... it seems I like to get up between the hours of 2:30am-4am. In a perfect world I would really like to get up at 5:30am and have my coffee done by 7. Maybe 5:30 is pushing it...6:30, so at least when I go to grind my coffee, it will not wake up the whole house to early. Regardless of when I would like to get up.... it seems like 4/4:30am is the time my body really enjoys, even through the big yawns and the thoughts of "why the hell am I awake now" keep entering my mind.

Second, I have started hand crafting jewelry, some people call it beading..however its more then just putting things on a string. I finally feel its my way of making art. I love art and wish I studied it more in school when I was younger. I sold a set too, I mailed it off yesterday. I have a really great support system in place, which is nice and possibly something I have never accepted before. I am not sure where I picked up the social mentality of I do not need people... and I do not ask for help. I am realizing this way of thinking does not make me happy and after almost 25 years of thinking this way, I am trying to change it. (The reason I say 25 years and not my age is due to ...when I was younger then 5..of course I needed help.)
Which this leads into my third new thing.

Third, I am stepping out of my box and trying new things...which I hope leads me to finding my true self that I once knew and now lost. Growing up I was always a strong willed child and spoke my mind whenever possible..I got into allot of trouble this way. Never meaning to hurt people. Over the years I have shoved myself into this conforming box of this is how you should act. And I have found that in that time pieces of me slowly went away or so I thought. Now they are peaking back into sight. Yet I am still having trouble with my voice. (Its so easy to just turn and look away not pay attention to the world going on around you. But then something happens and it wakes you up a bit... and you see your life for what it really is and you are not happy with it.) I am ready to fix the issues that I have... but what I really need to learn is to say its not my issue! You DeaL With It! I am learning that I take on other peoples issues that are not my own, and I often do well, yet the issues still keep coming around. And while it may effect me,(and not all do affect me) its still Not my issue. I can no longer be that protective charming pit bull to hide behind. I am ready to see my poodle side :)

Miss K.. Lost her first Tooth..

Miss K is really the baby of the family. Her Twin sister Miss B is 40 mins apart from her...

And while Miss B has lost two teeth last year, and Mr. C lost almost 8 with molars coming in.... Miss K waited and waited.

Some days she would come up and say "Momma wiggle my tooth and just see if it will come loose." or "How come Miss B has lost TWOoooo Teeth and I have not lost Any Yet!" she says with a slight pout.

Well Last night it finally happened .....her tooth became so loose it finally was able to be pulled out by my wonderful hubbie.

Miss K was so excited when she went to rinse her mouth ....she dropped her tooth right down the drain :(

So we had Miss K, write the tooth fairy explaining what happened to the tooth.... The tooth fairy didn't seemed to mind and still gave money with a tiny letter written back...saying she understands.

It made Miss K a very happy little girl... even though she lost her tooth in more then just one way.

Is it the Camera or Lighting...

Today my goal was to post Three listings on Esty.


Of the Three very lovely Earrings that I made.... However I can not seem to take a Great Pictures and Capture the wonderful colors and detail of them. I zoom in ---it blurs, I zoom out---no details. I change the stupid "Scene" the "lights" .... its all just yuck. I am getting Frustrated!


Its a new camera I just got it ...this past Christmas...which I am thankful for.. Miss K... dropped my old one.


My old Camera may have been a bit out dated However I took some really great shots with it. And I ran my eBay business very well with the pictures that I took. It was able to capture the little details and the color was perfect...


But then again I lived in NC... Where it was not everyday a cloudy day and I didn't live in the Basement, so natural light was always pouring into my cozy home.


So I thought....." humm I will just go take the pictures outside...on the patio table"...BUT ....Its covered in snow... Yep that is right snow! Which normally I love snowy days...think about a nice cup of hot cocoa... Needless to say this sets me back once again....Sighs


Maybe I will try another part of the house...

When old men talk....

Today the family was out shopping, and we had the twin girls in the shopping buggy... one of my girls is almost getting to the point were she is to big to be in the buggy but she is also the one that loves to oOooo and ahhhhhh at everything and anything! So IN the buggy she goes!

Here we are shopping along when an older man ... I am going to say 65-70 came up and started chatting up my girls. Man: "Hi girls" (as my son stands ideally by) Girls: "Hi" (in that twin voice that they can pull off sometimes) Man: "How old are you girls?"Girls: "Six" (again in that same twin voice) Man: "Oh You girls are Twins?"  At first I thought nothing of it (trying to have a new insight and see the good in people) but then hair stood up on the back of my neck, I felt like a Momma cat ready to Hiss and Bat. I looked at the Old Man then looked at the girls, shooting a look to my husband (a look he knows all to well). Thankfully my husband steps in and starts talking to the Man ...which leads to the man into wondering away. As I suck in my breath and point something out to the girls, with the help of my son we pulled the girls attention to what we were doing.

Now here I was trying to sleep and I am thinking to my self as I replay in my head what went down....
If that was an older lady in the same age group, I would have thought nothing of it .... I think....Does that make me sexist?
If that man would have greeted me/hubby/ and son would I still have gotten upset?
Why am I letting myself lose sleep over it?
I know I love that my children are friendly....maybe I should have a talk with them again....

All These Thoughts are running Loudly in my head Right now....
So let me ask You my dear Readers... What's your thoughts?

Throwing Birthday parties!

I am not sure about the rest of the Momma's/Daddy's out there, but I find throwing a child's birthday party to be stressful as all heck---mostly due to the Goodie Bags!

Where to have the party?
How many kids?
Who to invite?
How the invitations look?
How to be politically correct when not inviting the Whole Class.
Does anyone have allergies or can not eat certain foods?
Then there is the Goodie Bags----Major stress factor!

Yes, I know it sounds silly that I let something such as a Goodie Bag stress me out, however it seems to play a major role in kid party throwing. I totally dislike them! And yet each party... each year, I go to the store and stress out over them. I mean honestly filling the damned bags full of crap candy and junky plastic toys that just get lost over the next week.... or that lovely plastic whistle that the child keeps blowing in the car or while running through the house...sneaks up and blows right in your ear.... Or those plastic spin tops that as you just happen to place your bare foot down to the floor you step on the BLASTEd thing! By the time you get to the check out counter and pushing all those thoughts to the back of your mind you see the bill of $50 dollars, your eyes bug out and you say in your mind "REALLY!?!" However being the wonderful parent you are with all the fun little treats of stickers, plastic junk and candy....You just smile and nod, while paying for the crap. Then not to forget about running short, on the goodie bags, ... you do the invites, and then get the ones that can come and can not come..then something canceled and they were able to come and just showed up.... which we are always happy to see... cause clearly you are not thinking about the goodie bags... Everyone is having fun..until the end.... again something I made work... with maybe just a few tears.

This year ... I really thought about not doing the Goodie Bags, but then one of my girls went to a party and came back with a stainless steel water bottle. I was like WOW that is a great idea! So I went with that idea, I still went to the toy store and they still got some candies but I also got fun semi learning treats that I knew everyone would like. It was a hit! The kids thought it was cool and everyone left with a smile! And I brought Two extra Goodie Bags, just in case! So I now have great little ideas going thru my head about the next Goodie Bags I have to make up in 8 months, but now I do not feel so stressed out about them....even though I would rather just not do them at all.

Where to have IT!
So Many kids running around full of energy and excitement! It has to be entertaining, it has to be fun! It has to have movement....even 9 year olds can not sit still for very long when totally jacked up the energy of having a party. Normally I let the kids pick where they want to have it, sometimes I think to myself am I really going to make THAT happen. Like last year when we had to go back to SSI and throw a party on the Beach for my girls... I just happen to make that promise one year to the day of their birthday party and they held me to it! I was lucky too, on the ferrie ride over, it was a dreadful sight, rain and dark clouds... the family had to split up and come at different times...but I pulled it off... for two hours the clouds parted and the rain stopped and even thought it was a little chilly everyone had a great time!

Needless to say After Nine years of learning the art of throwing a wonderful child's birthday party, I still find it all stressful, however I am learning little tricks to make it go much smoother.

1. A few good friends is much better!
2. Buy something they will keep and remember that time spent together!
3. Don't make promises you are not sure you can keep....
4. Always have something Chocolate, something Vanilla just in case they cant/don't like chocolate, also have something salty.... just in case they cant eat dairy!
5. Save the blow horns for last as well as the cake and gifts... cause after you open those and eat cake the party is open for free run, and you lost their attention for good!

Until next time.... Give a smile!

Words Our Truths

Lets Change the way we think!

Words are Flesh! What you read, listen, write, or speak.... it becomes real. It becomes true in the world and not just what you might think is YOUR world.... it affects each and every single one of us.
We are connected...

Judge.... Sarah Palin for what she said, However....I am sure if anyone of us that has adoring fans and those fans could hear how we speak on a bad day.... what would happen...they would get mad and take action...
(And Yes I do agree she is someone that needs to watch what she says in public light...however I think we all need to watch what we say.) Our words, Our thoughts become what is true.

Hell, I remember in High school, riding the bus home with this super smart kid, and he told me how to make a homemade bomb....this was just after The Columbine High School massacre. Here is just another example of putting our words and our energy towards something we shouldn't have. Our school made such a big deal about it... bring in metal detectors and not letting people wear long coats anymore. So of course kids that would have never thought about making bombs went home and looked into this new raving topic all the teachers were so worried about.

I think this is part of our issue as a whole. We tend to care about what is going on in the world more then we care about what is going on in OUR OWN backyards. We want to take care of the starving, the poor, the neglected people in other countries, we spend millions upon millions of dollars, we go into wars over CARING for Other peoples issues....Yet we look down on those same issues with in our own communities... Just think about it for a moment... If we happen to take all those kind, caring energies, words, and directed them toward people that we connected with every single day..how much better would Our world be?

Right Now I am in a battle with myself, I am changing.... I am looking at the world with my true self. 
I am changing my words in how I speak, I used to always try to think of myself as a good person.... now I know I am just a person with positive and negative reactions... I am focusing on the positive actions....which is not often easy. I am stopping ....the trying to be perfect in an imperfect world.  

Our worries become our truths...we become what we hate, so whatever you put your energies to...your focus on...becomes you.
Lets think happy thoughts, focus on how good we feel in our worlds....

Let Positive Light shine with in you...Happy words flow out.... until next time... Give a smile.

What’s Awesome In Your Life?

After reading this blog http://www.owningpink.com/blogs/owning-pink/what’s-awesome-your-life

I think its best that I start today off focusing on what is Awesome in my life.... I have been crying, whining, sad, swimming in a massive pity party for 4 days ... THE first four days of my New kick ass year! This is not how I want to spend this year. SO..... what is Awesome in my life is.....

1.) I have the best family in the world. My kids are super wonderful, creative, to smart for their own good, talented kids, they always keep me on my toes... my husband is the most humble, non-judgemental, kind, caring, loving father, and even though the world doesn't often see it he is always thinking of others before himself.

2.) I have a full life of wonderful friends both in BC and in the States... I started to say NC..but then I had to stop and think about the friends I have that live all across the USA... And even though we do not talk every day or even every year. I still know they are there if I need them or they need me.

3.) I have the best Mom and Dad in the world... and even though we do not always see eye to eye... They Give me the space and taught me it was ok to be myself.... No matter if everyone else do not agree. They Made it ok for me to have fire and fight for what I think is right. They Made me my strong willful spirit I have today. I am very Thankful for this.

4.) I have the most Caring In Laws in the whole world....

5.) I still own a house in NC...which means I have not totally let go of my dreams... I just have to remain focus on what those dreams are. And as long as it stays rented I have a asset.

6.) I have the most protective handsome dog in the world...

7.) I live in one of the most beautiful places on earth. My life is forever changing and always for the better.
My family tasks risk... well planned thought out ones...which are sometimes harder then planned, only to show us what we are missing.

8.) When I set my mind to do something I can move mountains.

9.) I have a wonderful mystery to me.... while being able to "look cute and not so cute" And most people can not tell how old I really am. :)

10.) I blessed to be where I am today, with the lessons I have learned and need to keep learning. I am blessed to know that everyone has there reasons for doing the things they do... crazy or not they have their reasons.

These are just some of the Awesome things in my life....

What's Awesome in Your Life?

Road Blocks...

I have not written in awhile due to hitting Massive Road Blocks.

They are not just normal road blocks with detour signs hanging over head, its the kind of road block that looks like you are at a four way stop all lights are off and roads are closed with all the "important" people in your life telling you what to do and what not to do.

See Normally I am the type of person that comes to the road blocks and I say Get the Hell out of my way I am doing it anyways. One thing is for sure I HATE BEING TOLD what I Can and CAN'T do.

When I was 18 years old I was told I would not be able to graduate high school if I didn't learn how to do geometry the RIGHT way.(I came up with the Right Answer ..just not the same way that was taught, so there for it was not the Right way) The very day all my friends were getting ready to walk across the stage, I had to wait by the phone and see if I could walk..just because I didn't think like everyone else.... I passed with a 75 and the fourth time taken the damn test.
When I was 18 years old, I moved out of my house because my Momma and Daddy told me I could not have a cat. It took me a month to find a place I could call my own, and I house sat for my daddy's best friend just so I could have a roof over my head. ( I also do not like asking for help, or taking help when offered... I am learning how to ask for help)
When I was prego with the twins I was never told to stay in bed by my DR... and when I told them I didn't want to be cut open, I wanted to have my twins as natural as possible they all looked at me with disbelief.. my girls are 40 mins apart... yes I paid the price afterwards, my body went into shock and I lost alot of blood, almost shaking right off the table. Clearly I pulled through.
When I wanted to buy a house, I had to prove to everyone that it was possible for my husband and I to own a home, making very little money and with 3 kids...  We still own that house today.

There have been many other times where people say I can't do something for this reason or that reason... and I just look at them with fire in my eyes and say watch me.

Now Every day I am being told what I can and can Not do, by people that should not have any effect over my personal life. I have no space, I have no privacy, I do not feel comfortable in what is supposed to feel like a home.

I asked for help, I was told make something happen. When I made something happen I was told it was to fast, it was not right, I was told I could not do it.... my heart was broken...
I am being told I CAN'T just say Get the HELL out of MY way... because it just doesn't affect me, it effects my children, and my husband.

So with this being said... I have alot to think about.