First step to Change...not fight it.

As some of you know ... (cause you personally know me). I often wake up at random odd hours. Normally I sit on the sofa, stare at the TV or on FaceBook, wishing how I could just go back to sleep.
Then 6:30am rolls around and I am soooo tired, (because I was focusing on wanting to go back to sleep.) I go back to bed, only to find my eyes shut for a few moments then its 8:00am, I am grumpy and I still have the rest of the day to go through.

Well today I didn't fight my body! It said at 3:58am.
Time to get up!
At first I must say I did roll over and say No, just a few minuets longer.
However my body said YES, Get UP!
So I got out of bed, dimmed some lights through out the house, trying not to wake the other four people that are sleeping ever so peacefully.

And I thought to myself might as well go on a jog. Soooooo....

Today was the first day I got up at 4am to go on a Jog! (It was more like a walk jog for the most of it, with little bit of jogging sprints.)

At first my little jog was easy, but then the cool morning air hit my lungs. Made it kinda hard to breath at first. I had to slow down a bit. It was not a very long one either, But still. I did it!

Now as I am typing this I find myself wanting to go back to my nice warm bed. Its 5:45am. Maybe I should see what a little cat nap might do.

Today I took the first step in not fighting what my body tells me.
Lets see how this day goes.

Hope Everyone enjoys their day. :)

The Art of Letting Go.

Letting Go....

I have had many conversations with someone I used to call a friend about the idea of letting go.
How to let go. When to let go. What to let go.

Now I have conversations about REALLY Letting Go, learning that everything will come to pass.

Some of you may be asking Letting Go of what?

Letting go of the guilt, anger, worries, grief, fear, doubts, the should, shouldn't, all the suffering, the double suffering. ( I do alot of double suffering.)

When I would have these conversations, I would ask how to let go.

Now I finally understand what it feels like to let go.
 And I have to share it with you...my dear readers.

Its when you feel like you are at lost, you have tried all your options and you throw your hands up in the air and say to your self...maybe to the world "I am done! I give up!" You wipe your hands clean to confirm this, and as you do this the burden of whatever Suffering was on your shoulders finally lets go.

That is what it feels like to let go.

After you let go, and you finally think you are Really done, something wonderful happens, a small window opens and light shines in.... answers come pouring in. Then you realize the answers were already there. They were just covered up by the worries, the fear, anger, grief, guilt..... basically all the suffering we put on ourselves.

Then we start again, by saying "I should have seen that!" (double suffering)

Letting go is really just that same feeling, with the understanding the answers will show themselves when we are ready to see they are there.

I am not saying this is easy.
Nor am I saying that I don't get emotional, with the fear, the guilt, the worries, anger, and the shoulds.

What I am saying is Whatever IT is.... it will pass.
There will be good times and bad times.
Enjoy the good ones, work through the bad ones.
And when those creeping feelings of judgements (sufferings) start to bestow upon yourself,
Let go.